I Hate Cats
by ororomunroe531
Summary: Logan hates cats, especially the one that's in the mansion walls.


On one normal Sunday morning, Logan was doing nothing more than enjoying some beer, Canadian of course, and watching a game of hockey that he had taped. Marie was sitting there with him, occasionally taking drinks off of his beer. Logan just hoped that she realized how lucky she was to be the only person in the entire mansion who could do that without earning a death threat.

Yes, it was a simple Sunday morning, or so Logan thought.

_Scritch_

_Scritch_

"Hey… You hear that?" Logan asked Rogue. She paused for a minute and listened.

"Nope. Nothin."

"Hmm."

Logan checked his place in the game and got up to pursue the sound. It was coming from… The wall? He lifted his head and sniffed the air. Then he got up and shot out of the room.

"Who the hell smuggled a cat into the mansion!" he muttered to himself. At that moment, he heard more scuffling from the wall. It was getting further and further down the hall… _Oh, hell no!_

Walking down the length of the wall, Logan waited until the cat stopped, then unsheathed his claws. Stabbing into the drywall, he cut what he presumed to be a cat-sized hole. When he pulled his claws away, there was a little brown cat. Its blue eyes stared widely at him.

It bolted as soon as he reached for it. Right back into the wall and down the hall.

_Oh great. The one time I try not to seem like a scary motherfucker, the stupid thing runs away. And yet I still have teenagers who assume it's safe to try and steal my beer and booby-trap my bedroom._

So, Logan took off after the cat again. After the fourth time he cut a hole in the base of the wall, Storm came walking up behind him.

"Logan!" she said from behind him as he was about to punch his claws into the wall for a fifth time. "What the hell do you think you're doing!"

Logan turned away from the wall to face the new headmaster of Xavier's. He looked past her for a minute, and saw the wake of destruction he left. Storm's face was absolutely horrified and dismayed.

"Uh… Animal control?" he said as he rubbed the back of his neck.

"What?"

"I hate cats. There is a cat in the wall."

"…" Storm just stared and him for a moment and then rubbed her temples slowly. "A cat… In the wall."

"Yeah. I hate cats."

"Okay Logan. You hate cats. Does this hatred of cats suddenly turn into a hatred of our drywall?"

"We can get the damn wall fixed, Ro. But I gotta catch me a cat!" he growled out. Ignoring her requests to call actual animal control, he turned away to follow his furry nemesis.

**XxXxXxXxX**

"I think Logan finally lost it," Rogue heard a student say to his friend later that day. "There are holes in the walls _all over_ the mansion!"

"Wait, what?" Rogue asked the boy, turning away from the sandwich she was making.

"Um, yeah. Holes everywhere. I heard Jack Marskey say he was chasing a badger through the walls!"

"A badger?" Rogue asked dryly. "Why in the world would there be a badger in the walls? And anyway, aren't badgers too big to even fit in the walls?"

The boys shrugged and walked out of the kitchen. Rogue rolled her eyes and finished her sandwich. As she was about to leave the kitchen when she heard a loud scurrying sound from the wall.

_The hell? Maybe there _is _a badger in the walls! And it's running!_

And Logan chose that moment to come barreling around the corner, claws out. He then lunged jus ahead of the scurrying running, ripping a hole in the drywall. A small brown animal shot out of the hole, and Logan grabbed it just in time.

"Hah! I finally caught ya, ya stupid little fuck!" Logan shouted at the animal.

"Is that a cat?" Rogue asked incredulously.

"Yep," Logan grinned ferally. "And I caught the slinky little fucker."

"And put holes in all of my walls!" Storm gasped, coming up behind him. "What in the great Goddess' name were you thinking!"

"I had to catch it," Logan explained in his best 'duh' voice. "It was gonna stink up the mansion. And don't these kids have allergies?"

That was when Storm's eye started twitching. Her fists balled, and Logan watched the sky outside the window grow dark. Thunder rumbled and lightning crashed no too far from the mansion.

"Oh, shit," Logan said.

Storm zapped him with a lightning bolt.

"OW! Fucking god DAMN it!" Logan fell to his knees in pain, a man with metal bones should never punch holes in Ororo's walls.

As Logan waited for his healing factor to kick in, the cat hopped out of his arms and started back for the wall.

"Oh, no ya don't," Rogue said as she picked the cat up, cradling it to her chest. "Ya're stayin' right here with me." She pet the feline's head in long strokes down its neck.

"Ah'm keeping it," the southerner announced. "Ah think Ah'll call it Saya." And with that Rogue walked back to her room to get Saya settled in.

Storm glared down at Logan, who was still on the floor. Logan glared right back up at her.

"I hate cats," he grumbled.


End file.
